When I think about my childhood there’s not much I would change. Many would even call the way I grew up “perfect”. In the Charania household there are four of us– my Dad, Mom, Brother and me. We moved to Georgia from Texas when my little brother and I were six and eight years old.
We were blessed enough to live in a beautiful home, in the same neighborhood as my cousins who were close in age to us. Life was always fun with riding bikes down the hills and watching the boys play basketball in the backyard. I always had a big group of girlfriends and most of them were either an only child or also had a brother. Weekends were divided between hanging out with my cousins, or a birthday party of one of my girl friends. I literally always had something going on.
It wasn’t until I got engaged at the age of 22, that I started feeling like I was missing something in my life, rather, missing someone. As a child I always told my mom that I wish I had a sister, but obviously there was nothing I could do about it so I never over-thought it. When I was 13 or 14 one of my favorite cousins (hi Anita Appa) came to live with us and it was like all my dreams had come true. I finally had someone, other than my mom, to run my outfit ideas by, or get tips on hair/makeup, and even someone to have pajama parties with. When she moved out two years later, it’s like someone had taken the most important thing away from me. Although she wasn’t my sister, it’s like I had a small taste of what it was like, and I loved it.
Fast forward to my twenties, and now, married life, is when I wish I had one the most and have really been noticing the emptiness of a sister. I guess it’s just a feeling that never passes. It’s not really a feeling I can describe and I know only those who don’t have one can understand. I’m so lucky to have a mom who is also my best friend and I know I can turn to her for anything. I also have amazing cousins & girlfriends, but you can’t just make anyone your sister.
I can’t speak from experience, but from what I have noticed a sister is someone who knows you better than you know yourself. It’s like having a permanent best friend, someone who will show up to your birthday or family get-togethers no matter what. She’s someone who you can not only get fashion/beauty advise from, but someone who you can laugh with, and share secrets with. For all the girls who do have a sister know exactly what I’m talking about.
For those, like me, who don’t have one, can’t relate to anything I just mentioned. We make our own fashion decisions and don’t have anyone else to blame but ourself when it’s a disaster, or we don’t really have anywhere to go to get advise on how to handle a situation with a boyfriend/husband (besides our mom, who hasn’t dealt with boy problems for over 20 years). No-one to jump up and down with when we get engaged or are going through planning a wedding. There’s nobody who we can gravitate towards in a crowd of strangers. And really no ride-or-die person that will like & comment on all of your Instagram pictures.
I just want to tell those who do have a sister, be grateful. You have no idea how lucky you are to have someone who understands you 100%, even if you don’t speak a word. Be kind to us who don’t have someone like that.
And to us who are sister-less. Remember, there are more of us than you think. Let’s unite together to create a sisterhood that supports one another, and is kind to one another. Go out of your way to befriend someone who also does’t have a sister and see if you can create a bond that’s unbreakable.